The Grass Is Always Greener
by Once Was AHR
Summary: American!Naruto is mad. How can he ever compete with the great Japanese version of his show, if he has such a horrible catch phrase like Believe it? It will take some very odd people to show Naruto the grass isnt as bad as he thinks. Complete
1. In Japan

**Hello, this one shot may contain some ooc for characters who I don't know as well as others. This is dedicated to every person who ever said something along the lines of 'The Naruto English dub sucks'. So yeah, all you people out there, this is for you :) Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Shaman King, Yu-gi-oh, One Piece, Dubbing companies, Japan, America, I don't even own this computer.**

American!Naruto was mad. In fact he was furious. He kept punching a poor little tree, each time leaving a slightly bigger dent. Sometimes he growled, and every once in a while he would even curse. His anger rivaled Sasukes hatred for his brother Itachi. Why was American!Naruto so angry? Well…it all started a couple days ago…

American!Naruto had always thought he had a pretty sweet life. He was in a really cool show, that got a lot of viewers, and spawned a lot of toys. He had a cool catch phrase (Believe it!) He had multiple love interests (Sakura…Hinata…Gaara…) and most of all, he was happy. He had a signature jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu) and had learned summoning and Rasengan as well. Life was good.

Best of all, Sasuke had left. Sure, his character had been devastated, But less Sasuke meant that that Glory Hog would be taking a back seat and taking a couple of vacations. Yeah, American!Naruto had it made.

Not.

He had been walking with Ino, who, without a Sasuke to cling on, (and since Shikamaru was already taken) had attached herself to the next coolest person. Which was Naruto.

Naruto cackled a bit in his head. _Four…four love interests._ Kissed her good night, and went home. All he wanted to do was watch some TV (it was always nice to scope out the competition) and order some ramen with ice cream. But, this would not happen. For someone was already in his house.

He looked slightly like American!Naruto, only he was taller. And instead of blue and orange, he had black and orange. But other than that, there was quite a resemblance.

"Who the heck are you? Answer or I'll attack! Believe it!" American!Naruto threatened.

The other Naruto just chuckled. "I'm Japanese!Naruto Dattebayo!" He had spoken Japanese, but even American!Naruto could read little white subtitles.

He paled a bit. Shoot! He should have remembered! The show Naruto had come from Japan! No wonder this Naruto looked a bit…ok a lot…cooler.

"Sorry Japanese!Naruto. Didn't know you were coming."

"S'okay American!Naruto 'Tebayo"

As it turned out, The big people upstairs (No not god, and not Jashin-sama) had decided it would be good to send American!Naruto to the Japanese set for a bit of cultural experience.

At first, it was great. Lots of ramen. Real ramen. Actual honest to goodness Japanese ramen. American!Naruto was in heaven. This lasted about ten minutes. He then proceeded to learn the horror of the American dub of Naruto.

Jutsus names were changed.

Blood was lessened.

Rice balls became donuts.

No cursing.

Scenes were cut.

Shikamarus', Kankuros' and Shinos' voices. Enough said.

Puppeteer became Puppet master.

Missing-nin became Rogue Ninja

They got rid of honorific endings.

Theme song images were changed.

Ero-sennin went to Pervy Sage

Lees blush was erased when he performed drunken fi-I'm sorry loopy fist.

Shinos' catch phrase went from 'trump card' to 'ace in the hole'

Shikamarus' catch phrase went from 'How troublesome' to 'What a drag'

Instead of Ninpou (insert jutsu here) no jutsu! It became just (insert jutsu here) jutsu!

Icha Icha became make out.

And Narutos' beautiful catch-phrase _Dattebayo_ was changed to the annoying 'Believe it'

It was all horrible. American!Narutos' pride and joy, was nothing but a cheap, heavily edited and censored knock off. And it sucked.

American!Naruto went to Japan a proud and happy anime character. He left a downtrodden cartoon. And this was why he was angry. Why he refused to ever, EVER play the part of Naruto, until the changed a couple of things!

He swore he would never, ever utter that horrible catch phrase again. He would never say 'Believe It', nor would he use the crappy translations of the jutsus.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. The tree refused to yield. "Ninpou, Kage Bunshin no jutsu!!"

Nothing happened. Why? The god damn Japanese names didn't work here in bloody America! (Contrary to prior belief, hand signs are just for show, the real power is in stating the name as loud as possible)

American!Naruto kicked the tree, but he was still mad. Still furious. He couldn't take it anymore! If this kept up, some drastic measures would have to be taken. As the hours passed, he came up with a plan. It was a very emo plan, fit for the emo king (Sasuke) himself. Naruto nodded to himself. He would put his plan into action toni-

BOOM!

A weird purple circle appeared a couple yards (meters dammit! Take that America!) away. Naruto payed no attention to it. Probably some random plot device for an upcoming (and butchered) filler.

What was he thinking? Oh! Right, tonight he would begin his emo plan by-

"Well isn't this a pretty pickle?"

Naruto whirled around. Who had said that? He frowned. The person who said that, didn't look familiar at all. Probably a filler extra putting on airs because he got to be in Naruto.

The kid had black hair, which was held back by orange head phones. He wore an open beige jacket, showing off his pecs. He smiled lazily. Naruto looked at him. He seemed…disproportioned. Not like anything He had ever seen in Naruto before…

"Names Yoh Asakura."

"Never heard of ya punk. Leave me alone."

The boy rolled his eyes.

"I am American!Yoh. Of the show Shaman king."

Naruto looked at him quizzically. If he wasn't from Naruto, how'd he get here? Why hadn't security gotten him? Darn…little guy probably came through that annoying purple circle.

The boy said nothing for a while. But when he noticed Naruto wasn't saying anything, he opened his mouth. "I take it you've seen my show?"

"Nope."

"WHAT?! My…my manga! You've read my manga right?

"No, only read shonen jump."

"I was in shonen jump!"

"Really…? Oh yeah!! I remember! You had gotten canceled!"

At this, the boy blushed furiously. To be canceled was one of the greatest disgraces of the animated worlds. Only thing worse was when it wasn't canceled, and it should have been.

"Look…" The boy began sticking his hand in the purple floating circle. "I heard you were hatin' on your show."

Naruto nodded. "Well…yeah! I mean, compared to the Japanese show, My show sucks!!"

American!Yoh withdrew his hand, and withdrew two people. One was incredibly short, with blonde hair, and the other had blue hair and a snowboard.

"This…is Morty." American!Yoh said, pointing to the incredibly short kid.

Morty gave a little wave.

"He carries a book of ghost stories where ever he goes, and likes…well ghosts."

Naruto shrugged. "Uhh…hi American!Morty-"

"No."

Naruto looked up at American!Yoh. American!Yoh was shaking his head.

"No." He repeated.

Naruto was annoyed now. "Whad I say?"

Yoh yawned and looked back at Morty. "He's…not American!Morty-"

"So he's Japanese!Morty?"

"-because there is _no_ Japanese!Mory in the first place."

Now Naruto was really confused. Maybe this bunch was like that pretty cool anime on a different channel. The show about the bald kid. "So…you're an American made show?"

American!Yoh shook his head. "No…we're form Japan…the difference is…"

"My name is _Manta_ in Japan." Piped up Morty suddenly. He frowned slightly not really knowing which name was worse.

"Also, that book Is really just a dictionary on everything." The blue hair kid put in.

Naruto gasped slightly. "You mean..they changed the midgets name?"

"Yes."

"But not yours?"

"Correct."

"WELL THAT MAKES NO SENSE!!"

Yoh just sighed. "I'm not done." He motioned to the blue haired kid.

The blue haired kid did not like being spoken for and got up. "My names Trey Racer. And this-"

here some small little chibi creature appeared out of nowhere. Naruto was unfazed. He had seen many things in the show Naruto. Little chibis did not surprise him.

"-is a minutian named Corey."

"But" Naruto grumbled, seeing what was coming up.

"but, in Japan, my name is Horohoro, and this is a Koro Pokkuru named Kororo"

American!Naruto looked at the little chibi named Corey. "Well…I guess I sorta see your point…I guess…" Not really convinced, his show had had name changes as well. Were they not paying attention when he was ranting about jutsus?

American!Yoh took the 'sorta' as a 'yes' and smiled. "As you see, your show, Naruto, Is nothing compared to how much our wonderful show got butchered." He wimpered slightly, remember how many other names had been changed.

American!Naruto just rolled his eyes. If it was such a great story, why did it get canceled? He decided to call security-

"Don't even think about moving!"

The Shaman King characters and the one Naruto character looked up in surprise to see some new people getting out of the portal.

"Friends of yours?" American!Naruto whispered to American!Yoh. American!Yoh shook his head.

Five people came out. The first two looked exactly alike, both with creepy looking purple/black/blonde spiky hair. The next had blonde hair and a green jacket. The third had brown hair that as black in the back, with a beige jacket. (thankfully, he had a shirt covering his pecs.) The final, was a girl with bobbed brown hair.

The somewhat taller looking one with the creepy Spiked hair walked towards them.

"I…am…Yami."

Narutso eyes lit up. "I know 'bout you guys! You're from the show Yu-gi-oh! Your show sucks!"

Yami said nothing but sighed. The smaller spiked hair child stepped up. "I'm American!Yugi…and I'm here to tell you why you are all lucky!"

American!Yoh just chuckled a 'sure' and sat on a nearby rock with his friebds.

Naruto just groaned. Why couldn't they get it through their thick heads that they just didn't have it as bad as he did?

"Ok…first…I would like to say…I have mom." American!Yugi said quickly.

American!Naruto blinked and jumped up in surprise. "No way!! I've seen your show before! You're an orphan with your Grandpa!!"

American!Yugi shook his head. "I. Have. A. Mom. She doesn't have a big part. But I have one. She is not dead."

That was pretty bad.

"Next… Yami does not have name in Japan. He is just 'Dark Yugi'"

American!Naruto gawked at him for a moment. That…was bad.

"Ok, Joey is Jonouchi, Tristan is Honda, and Tea is Anzu."

One breathe, not bad. But American!Naruto had the same problem with the jutsus! Did they not understand?

American!Yugi paused for a moment, trying to explain what else had happened. "They change scenes."

American!Naruto shrugged. "Big deal dude, you need to have more firepower then _that _I mean…hello? They erased the blush from Lee! Very Bad!"

American!Yugi shook his head vigorously. "I mean…like one scene…when Jonouchi/Joey was really really sick, the scene, in Japan, went along the lines like 'how can we save Jonouchi-kun. This is horrible. But…in the American version…the conversation goes more along the lines of 'How can we defeat such a powerful new enemy? I feel so weak.'"

Silence. Dead silence. Naruto was stunned. He had nothing on them. Curses.

But American!Yugi wasn't done. "We don't talk about destiny 24/7, Kaiba isn't a jerk ALL the time, Yami/dark yugi is not supposed to sound like he is forty; you know the 'shadow realm? That's just a nice way of saying you get killed! And…god dang it, we don't have to win a duel tournament to save the world!! "

"And whats with my Brooklyn accent?" Joey put in, steaming slightly.

American!Naruto couldn't take it anymore. He had lost. No way he could compete with that. "Ok…ok..you wi-"

"NOT SO FAST!!"

And another group of people came out of the portal. A collective groan. How much worse could it get?

This time, it was a pretty big crowd, but the most prominent, was a teenager in a straw hat.

"Names Rufi."

American!Naruto nodded. One Piece. He had seen that show once. Once.

Rufi just grinned maniacally. "You people have no idea what you're in for."

Tristan got up. "Try us Rubber boy!"

Rufi grinned even wider, "If you wish, but I warned you."

The green haired man stood up, and took a deep breath. "Let's go." He whispered quietly. It was his job to say why One Piece was the worst.

"Ok, all blood, not just a little, not just a most, all edited out.

All words are removed. All of it.

Wine is changed to kool aid.

Zoro goes to Zolo

Our theme song of classical music is CHANGED TO RAP

Nico Robin gets a redneck accent.

No death. And unlike Yu-gi-oh, we don't get a shadow realm.

Instead, a girl goes from dying from tripping over the stairs, to being hurt so badly she can't ever sword fight again. How is that better?

Another, instead of being killed, is just left alone. How you ask? LOTS OF EDITS!

Poison darts are now suction cups.

And guns are turned into little toy HAMMERS!!

Soemtimes, episodes are cut so much, we have to put part of the next episode in, just to keep it long enough!

And FINALLY! We-"

Unfortunately, the greened haired pirate had talked to much, and began to suffocate. He took another deep breath again.

"WE SKIP ENTIRE FREAKING ARCS!!"

Silence.

"That sucks" American!Yoh said

"You win" American!Yugi agreed

"…" was all American!Naruto could say.

One by one, they all looked at each other. What did they do now? It was quite obvious One Piece had been butchered the most, and Naruto the least, but now most had a lot of adrenaline flowing in their veins, and just couldn't get rid of it by going back to there shows. Eventually Rufi turned to American!Naruto and said

"Your really lucky ya know tha-hey wait!"

American!Naruto was not there. Everyone looked up alarmed. Where had he gone? Sure he was a ninja but…was he really that fast? Everyone looked around frantically, until, one by one, they all headed back into the purple circle, being plunged back into a world where edits were great and severe, and where, if they weren't cancelled, were forced to tell jokes in a very serious scene

Back at the studio, American!Sakura was going over what precious little lines she had. Since she had been apprenticed to Lady Tsunade she was taken away from the spotlight. But rumors were saying she would be back in the spotlight soon enough. There might even be a time skip! Imagine that! Maybe she would even be a Jonin by the beginning of the time skip! Or maybe...an Anbu! Or maybe Hokage! Or maybe…well, Naruto would know. He had been to Japan after all.

Where was Naruto anyway? After a couple of moments, Naruto walked into the studio, whistling some song. He had been down for the last couple of days (Sakura had assumed it was because of the quality in the ramen) and it was nice to see him so happy again.

"Feeling better Naruto?" She asked sweetly.

Naruto grinned from ear to ear. He looked into the cameras, picked up a script, and replied:

"I'm feeling great. BELIEVE IT!"

**Well that's the end. My moral? Be grateful all you American Naruto haters, it could be a lot worse. Trust me. Now, in an attempt to shamelessly advertise myself, why don't you go look some of my other Naruto fan fictions I have written? Please? If not, just Review, because I never seem to get a lot of reviews.**


	2. For the Boys

**Thanks to Reality Inhibited and Dtecno Kirafor your awesome reviews. And thanks to Marjolein222 for giving me the idea for this chapter. Yes, this was originally going to be a one shot fic, but there are so many underappreciated things in the Naruto fandom. Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Fangirls, Gary Stus, Mary Sues, Kishimoto-sama, Kishimotos under paid subordinates, HunterXHunter, Dragon Ball Z, Yu Yu Hakusho, Death Note, Bleach, Shaman King, Hikaru No Go, Avatar the Last Airbender, One Piece, Haku, Whistle!, Slam Dunk, or YuGiOh!.**

"Order. ORDER!!" Temari roared. She stood in front of all the kunoichi in the Narutoverse, dressed in a judges garb.

"I have called this meeting to discuss the following problem" She hissed violently.

Meanwhile, the many kunoichi were anything but silent. Tayuya was discussing to Ino about how to handle being overshadowed by Mr. Primadonna Shikamaru.

Sakura was talking to Matsuri and Hinata in a low excited voice about how her boyfriend Itachi had just gotten her the most GORGEOUS necklace shaped like a cherry blossom.

Chiyo and Tsunade were complaining about 'the good old days' and Shizune, Anko, Kin, and TenTen were all discussing the lack of episodes they were in.

Temari groaned. This was why the whole subject started. She took a deep breath and screamed at the top of her lungs:

"PAY ATTENTION!!"

She turned off the lights, and turned on the projector. A light beam hit the wall and a huge opening title was displayed.

**FEMINISM IN NARUTO**

Everyone finally was paying attention. Temari smirked, and the picture started changing.

"Here" Temari began

A graph came up.

"Is all the battles won by males."

There was a lot.

"Now"

The picture changed to a somewhat smaller graph.

"Is a picture of all the battles won by females"

The projector then switched to a side by side comparison.

In total, the females had exactly, one tie, and five battles won.

"Now, one of those battles, Kakuzu verses Ino&Sakura, shouldn't even count. Then was Me verses Tayuya, which also doesn't count since she had been weakened by Shikamaru. Also Tayuya should have won that battle if not for me, so it unfortunately does not count as a win."

Tayuya smirked and nodded.

Temari continued. "Also, one of those wins, was me verses TenTen, so naturally that's a win regardless."

"The battle with Tsunade, Jiraiya and Naruto verses Orochimaru and Kabuto."

"Ino and Sakuras poor attempt at a fight was the tie"

"And, finally, Chiyo and Sakuras tag team."

Hinata raised her hand.

"Yes Hinata?"

Hinata raised an eyebrow. "You're missing a lot of battles. What about that battle in the Bikachou arc?"

Temari sighed. "Filler. Doesn't count"

Hinata sat down, grumbling evil things.

"Now, I'm going to remove any battles that have us winning against other girls, or battles where we tag teamed with guys." Temari said.

One Freaking Battle.

There was a collective gasp throughout the room. The one battle was Chiyo and Sakura verses Sasori.

"Now," Temari continued "Remember this was two against one."

A generally grumble of agreement. The Kunoichi were getting mad.

"And the opponent was a bad guy. Which obviously would get him defeated anyway."

Now there was a general riot going about. When had it gotten this bad? Why was it this bad? How could have they been so content living in the shadows of the opposite gender?

The picture changed to that of a picture showcasing the entire male cast.

Temari was now on an all time high and started shrieking with excitement. "These are all the guys who ever existed in Naruto!"

A picture with a lot less people came on.

"And THIS is all the girls!!"

Sakura, Ino, Hinata, and TenTen were really getting mad and started booing and jeering.

Temari cackled she hadn't even finished her presentation yet, and they were already getting mad enough to start a mob.

Then, Konan rose above them all on her paper angel wings and screeched in a harpy like manner:

"LETS MAKE THEM PAY!! MAKE THEM ALL PAY!! SHOW 'EM WE"RE MORE THEN JUST LOVE INTERESTS AND SEX OBJECTS!!"

Temari was amazed at the rate that every ones anger was escalating. It spooked it her a bit. But pretty soon she was caught in it as well, and it wasn't long before they all formulated a plan to take down the head honcho himself. Masashi Kishimoto.

They were amazingly more determined then the Naruto from America previously was. And no one could stand in their way.

Mind you, many tried. All of the male chuunins and extras showed up as the first wave of defense. However none of them were a match for Tsunades favorite chic flic.

Then there were the minor characters.

The fangirls attacked, and the bodies were never found.

Then finally, the major male characters.

Sasuke withdrew his sword, smirking. "I am the Gary stu of Naruto. You cannot defeat me."

There was an awkward pause. As much as they hated it, Chicken Butt Hair was right. But then, Temari gave a crow of happy disbelief.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

Temari smirked. "Sasuke… how can you defeat us?"

Sasuke smirked. "My sharingan. My cursed seal. My uber pwnage."

Temari just gave a chuckle. "There is only one thing that can defeat a Gary Stu Sasuke,"

Sasukes eyes momentarily widened. Then they narrowed. "You…your bluffing…no way…no way in hell could you have a-"

But all the girls were already parting, revealing a mysterious female figure. She had long flowing purple hair, and one eye was a sharingan, the other one was a Byakugan. She was wearing scanty clothing, and was an EE cup.

Sasuke cringed. "No…No…it can't be…it's a…it's a…Mary Sue!!"

And as everyone knows, A Mary Sue is a lot more dangerous than a Gary Stu.

Sasuke and the rest of the male ninja fled for their lives. Now it was a clear shot to Kishimoto-sama himself.

Needless to say, Kishimoto and all his under paid subordinates were fleeing in terror. They were going to be destroyed- by girl power!

Then out of nowhere and odd purple portal appeared right behind Kishimoto-sama. Out stepped two girls. One was in a dress and had huge pigtails, and the other one was dressed a lot simpler with a Turban-thing on her head.

BANGGGG!! They had crashed through the wall, and were ready to knock some sense into the creators- all that stood between them was these two girls.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Who the hell are you two?"

"Filler characters?" Hinata suggested.

Ino shook her head. "No, they're drawn to oddly for that."

TenTen frowned. "Maybe…they're from a different anime?"

Shizune was slightly more direct. "What are your names?" she asked.

The girl in the dress spoke first. "Biscuit Kruger."

"Ponzu" The other girl said.

The cowering subordinates stifled their laughs.

Temari put her hands on her hips. "Are you here to join us?"

"Not exactly" That voice came from another figure climbing out of the portal. This one was a guy, with an orange gi and blonde hair. He looked vaguely like Naruto.

"Name's Goku."

Tayuya just sighed. "Move or die punks."

"We" Biscuit Kruger started, motioning to Ponzu and herself "Are from a series known as HunterXHunter."

"DBZ" Goku said with a smile.

"And you are here…why?" Matsuri asked fairly confused.

Goku shrugged. "They can go first."

Ponzu stepped towards the mob. "I was one of the first prominent girls in the series."

Sakura looked at her quizzically. So she was like herself?

"I appeared during the first arc known as the 'Hunter exams'. I was in approximately four chapters."

There was an awkward silence. Four chapters wasn't a lot. That pretty much equaled one episode in anime time.

But Ponzu brightened all of a sudden. "But it wasn't all bad, in a later arc I was given a cameo as a hunter. It was pretty cool"

Kurenai gave an encouraging smile.

"Until I was shot in the back and died" Ponzu ended darkly.

Kurenais eyes widened in shock. She was not alone.

Then Biscuit Kruger stepped up. "A couple hundred chapters later, I show up."

That was a long time with no girls.

"And All I do is train the main characters."

Ino gave a bit of a gasp. That was horrible! Purely horrible!

Goku gave a small snort. "That's nothing! Trust me!"

What could be worse than that?

"Sure, we've got two main girl characters like you, but the thing is, all they are- are wives!!"

Ankos eyes turned to pure steel.

"There is one daughter I think- and she's the weakest out of all of us!! Except maybe Kurrin but…" Goku trailed off and began to ponder.

Hinata stepped up. "Ok. Ok. We get it. Naruto isn't SO bad."

Slowly, the males came out of their hiding spots, looking extremely relieved. The fan girls and Mary sues disappeared with a small POP! And the girls' rages were quieted.

Kishimoto-sama gave a huge sigh of relief. He then proceeded to ask for Gokus autograph, which Goku happily obliged.

Temari turned to the former mob. "So…I think it's agreed that Dragon Ball Z and HunterXHunter are the worst mangas in the world due to their sexist attitudes?"

"Pfft. Yeah right!!" More and more people began to walk out of the portal. Soon the office was completely crowded. Voices filled the entire room.

"My show has only one strong girl character- and shes about eighty!" Yusuke yelled.

"Our only girl character is a complete ditz who should kill herself" Yagami Light muttered.

"Two main girls. Ones useless, other ones only there cause shes' got a huge rack." Ichigo snapped.

"The only girls we got, don't fight." Yoh whined.

"We have only had two minor girl characters who are hardly there- AND THE CREATOR IS A GIRL!!" Hikaru roared.

And more and more characters came through, bitching and whining about the sexism. But they complained to no one but themselves. The kunoichi had long since left. They all decided to get some diet ramen, and talked about who was cuter. Kiba or Kankuro.

And arguing happily amongst themselves, they never again complained about the girl power in Naruto. Except for occasionally Haku. But that's another story.

**I wanted to add some other animes like Whistle! And Slam Dunk and YuGiOh! But I was to lazy to do any research X). Also, I know some shows better than others, and for most I read the manga, so if you see any blatant mistakes let me know and I'll try and fix it. Yeah, I know it's short but I know a lot of people (I know you're out there) are probably really annoyed with all the sexism in Naruto. But trust me when I say that not counting the chic flic animes, Naruto probably is the most girl powered anime eva. Other then Avatar the Last Airbender, and occasionally One Piece. So yeah, review and let me know if it sucked.**


	3. In the Manga

**Many thanks to DtecnoKira (blame Temari not me XD), AoiShinzo, Kyetge ( A:TLA pwns) and Marjolein222 for your awesome reviews. I once again, got yet another idea, so I give you, yet another chapter. So much for being a oneshot X). I do not own: Naruto, Fruits Baskets, Shaman king, Anime, Manga, instant ramen.**

Japanese!Naruto stared dumbly at the blinding computer screen. His hand trembled at the mouse, and his mouth agape. A sense of disbelief over took him; he had just seen something that would change his life forever.

It was impossible. Completely impossible. He had felt like the insides had just dropped several feet. He had felt lik-

"YO!! Japanese!NARUTO!!" Came a rather loud voice out of nowhere. Japanese!Naruto was tackled by an orange and blue blur.

It was American!Naruto. "HeeHee" He giggled.

Despite being pounded into the ground, Japanese!Naruto smiled lightly. He and American!Naruto had became close friends, and due to scheduling conflicts, they rarely got to see each other anymore.

" 'ey American!Naruto 'Tebayo. How's life?" Japanese!Naruto asked semi cheerfully.

American!Naruto gave a sigh and a shrug. "Actually, not that good, it's been one thing after another. Not to mentions the graphics have been getting really shoddy, believe it!"

Japanese!Naruto nodded sympathetically, he remembered the filler episodes. Those had been some pretty dark times.

"But what's really been annoying me is my catch phrase!" American!Naruto rambled on.

Japanese!Naruto raised an eyebrow. That was a bit odd. "But I thought you said you _liked _your catch phrase Dattebayo!" Even if it wasn't as cool as _his_ catch phrase, Believe It was not too bad.

"I do, the problem is I don't get to say it anymore!" American!Naruto nearly blurted out. He paused and looked at the trailer, and headed for the kitchen and opened one of the counters, withdrawing some instant ramen. Cackling evilly, he headed for the microwave.

"Why…why not 'Tebayo?" Japanese!Naruto sputtered. If a catch phrase wasn't even uttered, why would it be a catch phrase?

"Well", American!Naruto said, withdrawing the ramen and scouring the kitchen for semi clean chopsticks. He finally found them, and opened the lid. Ready to scarf down its contents.

"I didn't notice it at first…ok I didn't notice until Ino pointed it out, but a bit after the chuunin exams…I really didn't say 'believe it' that much…" American!Naruto said between slurps.

Japanese!Naruto felt a stab at annoyance at his ramen being eaten in front of him, but American!Naruto had introduced him to pizza when Japanese!Naruto had been to America, so it was only fair.

"But…everyone still thinks I say it every couple o' seconds. I haven't said it for almost an entire season." American!Naruto grumbled. Then he tipped the bowl over and slurped the last contents of ramen.

"I've heard worse 'Tebayo." Japanese!Naruto said in actuality.

American!Naruto threw (and missed) the ramen container into the garbage container and raised an eyebrow. "What could be worse than that?"

Japanese!Naruto paused for a moment. "Well…it's more prominent in the _manga_" he muttered spitefully, "But Zetsu was uhh…you know 'im right Tebayo?"

American!Naruto nodded vigorously. The actor had just been hired a while ago, but he was only in one episode and had showed up for about five seconds. Zetsu was a really creepy plant.

"Well" Japanese!Naruto continued once he saw the nod "He was arguing to himself about letting Tobi into the Akatsuki."

American!Naruto had no idea who Tobi was, but he assumed it was just a random Akatsuki member. He'd have to ask American!Itachi about him when he got home…

"White Zetsu says 'but why not? Tobi is a good boy.' "

American!Naruto stifled a laugh. That was incredibly stupid for a bad guy to say 'good boy' it was quite hilarious actually. He burst into a fit of laughter, and wouldn't shut up for a couple of minutes. But, he finally quieted himself, and diverted his attention to Japanese!Naruto.

"ANYWAY" Japanese!Naruto said, emphasizing his annoyance, "Half way through that sentence, it cuts to Tobi. So it looks like Tobi is saying 'Tobi is a good boy'. Dattebayo"

American!Naruto widened his eyes in realization. Everything made sense now! That creepy orange lollipop guy in the videos on youtube were Tobi! That's why he sounded like a five year old! But…if it had only happened once…

"Now, he's not only really an Uchiha, but the real leader of the Akatsuki." Japanese!Naruto ended dumbly. "Crazy right 'Tebayo?"

American!Naruto gave a low whistle. "Wow…that's insane" He closed his eyes and grinned. He felt a lot better now. "So, Jappy, what's new with you?"

Japanese!Naruto didn't have the heart to say that the word 'jappy' was considered a racist term, and just let it slide. Then, he remembered why he had been depressed this morning.

"Take a look at this Dattebayo." He muttered, and motioned at his computer. American!Naruto headed over and slid onto the chair. The screen looked like this

**Hi! I'm Nrtofn12111232! I loved Sasuke (lawllzz!!) until he went ot tat pedo Orochimaru (coghMichaelJacksoncogh) and I hate Lee (ewwwww!). Dedura is also KAWAII!! (how culd Saske kill him DX ) I LOVE hte manga btu teh anime sux. Especaly the Amarecan anime. So dose the Japanese, but nto as mch. The manga is soooooo mcuh better! F.Y.I the frth kage is NOT the leader. Pein is, so yah.**

"Who's Michael Jackson?" American!Naruto asked curiously.

"That's not the point!" Japanese!Naruto cried and jabbed his finger at one of the horribly spelled lines. "That line" He hissed.

"I….LOVE…the Manga." American!Naruto read dumbly. But Japanese!Naruto just rolled his eyes, and kept pointing so American!Naruto read on.

"But…the anime…sucks." American!Naruto ended lamely. He sighed. Like hadn't heard THAT jab before.

Japanese!Naruto looked up at the clock. "Any minute now…" He mumbled.

"What did you do?" American!Naruto asked curiously.

"I called JapaneseManga!Naruto for a quick get to gether. Then, Once I get the information, I will set my ULTIMATE PLAN into motion DATTEBAYO!"

American!Naruto sighed. "Alright. Say hi to the gang for me." He said. He got up, and left, leaving Japanese!Naruto alone, wondering exactly what that meant.

**x.X.B.R.E.A.K.X.x**

_**(A/N Japanese!Naruto will now be simply known as Anime!Naruto, and JapaneseManga!Naruto, will simply be known as Manga!Naruto. This is just to keep things simple)**_

"So…Manga!Naruto…Thanks 'Tebayo!" Anime!Naruto said.

Manga!Naruto was a bit odd. He was black and white, and seemed to be a bit more flat. But, he was a Naruto nonetheless and grinned just the same. "No problemos Dattebayo!"

Anime!Naruto looked down at his list. Every possible difference that made the anime so horrible.

TenTens pink shirt was supposed to be blue

Zaku lost one of his arms

Even more flashbacks

No Kakashi Gaiden

Fights were extended. A lot. (zzzzzz)

Its Three years. Not two and a half.

It only looks like a swastika, buts it's a manji. Not an X.

Anime!Naruto looked up from his list. "Alright, that's it 'Tebayo?"

Manga!Naruto paused. "No, there is one more, but you must only use it as a last resort. It's a very dangerous thing 'Tebayo."

Anime!Naruto quietly leaned in, and Manga!Naruto whispered something in his hear. "But don't use 'that' fact unless you have to Dattebayo."

Anime!Naruto nodded in shock. He had no idea…

Manga!Naruto looked at the clack. "I need to leave. A certain orange haired freak needs my attention 'Tebayo!" With that, he disappeared in a scroll of ink, leaving a slightly inky puddle on Anime!Narutos' kitchen floor.

It was time to put his brilliant plan to action. His brilliantly emo plan. He might not be a girl, but he was efficient! He would complete it with precise accuracy!

But, as usual, things went wrong.

BOOM! A rather large purple portal appeared out of nowhere.

"Bakano…" Anime!Naruto whispered under his breath. What was that thing?

Then, a group of people fell out. Three to be precise. One of the males had short orange hair, and the other one had shortish purple hair. The girl had long brown hair.

"Hi! I'm Anime!Tohru!" Said the girl in a cheerful voice. "This is Anime!Yuki-kun and Anime!Kyo-kun!" She said, motioning, to first the boy with purple hair, and then boy with orange hair.

Anime!Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Do I know you Dattebayo?"

"We are from a different anime series Naruto-san" Anime!Yuki said quietly.

"We're here to set you straight!" Anime!Kyo yelled.

"Uhh-huh!" Anime!Tohru cheered.

"What anime series 'Tebayo?" Anime!Naruto asked nervously.

"Fruits Baskets." They said in unison.

Anime!Naruto burst into laughter. That was such a lame name! Almost as worse as naming your manga after a cleaning product! (I'm lookin' at you Ichigo!)

"We have heard you are under the presumption that your anime is horrible." Anime!Yuki said simply.

Anime!Naruto nodded. "Well, it is. 'Tebayo"

Anime!Kyo gave a raucous laugh. "See this bracelet?" He asked motioning to his rather girly beaded bracelet that had blue and white beads. "It's supposed to be white and red!"

"…So…?" Anime!Naruto asked. How stupid it would be to get worked over a bracelet! It was absurd!

Anime!Yuki gave a sigh "Let me try. In the manga…my hair is grey."

"…"

Anime!Naruto widened his eyes in realization. "Your show..! It got cancelled after one season! HAH!! LAME O'S !!" He burst into a fit of hysterics.

"We're not done yet damn it!" Anime!Kyo snapped. He wanted to launch into an explanation about episodes being changed. But another voice entered the room.

"Don't move!" It came from a familiar cast.

The Shaman King cast were back for seconds (Poor things, they really can't catch a break can they?)

A quick round of introductions, and Anime!Yoh decided to be the one to knock some sense into the dunder-head.

"You want to talk about differences? I'll show you differences!" He roared. He was a lot moodier then his American actor apparently.

Anime!Naruto groaned. Today just wasn't his day. He kept getting visited by cancelled shows. It was like a bad T.V Land commercial he had come across in America.

"For one thing, while you complain about too many back stories, we don't get any! My back-story with Anna is left out!" Anime!Yoh cried out.

"Why'Tebayo?"

"They thought it was too dark." Anime!Anna replied shrewdly.

Anime!Yoh stuck his hand in the purple portal and pulled out a rather creepy looking old man. "This is Anime!Faust. In the Manga, his legs get chopped off and he uses a wheel chair. Does this happen in the anime? Noooooo!"

"Not to mention they took out my dog." Anime!Faust muttered under his breath.

Anime!Manta paused for a moment. "uhh…I became a shaman in the anime….that didn't happen in the manga…" He said nervously.

Anime!HoroHoro shrugged. "My sister got a name change. Instead of 'Pirka' she's Pilika."

"And people just don't seem to die!!" An unknown voice called.

Anime!Naruto widened his eyes in shock. That was horrible. A name change? That shit should only be reserved for Americanization!

A rambling more of such changes happened and Anime!Naruto was at a loss. He had been beaten. He admitted it. He, JapaneseAnimeShippuden!Naruto had been out done. He guessed…

But wait, hold on a tick. There was one thing that he had over them. The secret weapon that Manga!Naruto had told him to use in only an emergency. Well this was an emergency. A big emergency.

"HOLD IT!! HOLD IT EVERYONE DATTEBAYO!!" Anime!Naruto yelled at the top of his lungs.

There was a silence and everyone stopped rambling about how much their anime sucked.

"I have something that none of you posers can beat 'Tebayo!!" Anime!Naruto cried out in satisfaction.

…

No one said a word. Could it be true, could this ungrateful brat really have something that was worse than the state of their animes? No, it couldn't be possibly true. Naruto hadn't even been cancelled yet! This guy had to be bluffing.

"You talk pretty big for an idiot" Anime!Kyo muttered.

"Well, let's hear it." Anime!Yoh said, if calming down only slightly. He doubted this epiphany would go anywhere. Shaman King would pummel his little idea to the ground.

Anime!Naruto took a deep breath. He hoped this was the right time. He opened his mouth.

"The anime Naruto, is possibly the worst anime in the world, because-

**To be Continued.**

**Heheheheh, I am such a cruel person. ;) Hope it wasn't that bad or confusing. Now do me a nice huge favor, and write a nice long review for me okay? Any theories or ideas you have are warmly welcomed! **

**Also, the words on the computer were MADE UP. Any user look ups with similar words are just a coincidence. I also apologize because I got a bit preachy in this chapter, but I HAD to include that Tobi part so yeah, review now.**


	4. For the Non Complainer

**Thanks to w., helovestowrite, Sea MoonDragon, Marjolein222, and Reality Inhibited for the reviews. Yeah I know that I am way wayyyyyy over due. Don't kill me alright? And this is a bit short, since I just wanted to wrap this up so I could have one less story to worry about. Note, I do not own Naruto, Anime, manga, fillers, Fruits Baskets, Shaman King, Bleach, Fairly Odd Parents, Harry Potter, FMA, Ouran High School Host Club, Sailor Moon, or any emo thoughts.**

-because of all the god damn fillers!"

Anime!Naruto grinned triumphantly at the shocked faces.

"Uhhh…well….We have a gender change in our anime!" Anime!Kyo said in a bleak voice.

"Oh yeah? Have you ever had an entire episode devoted to a character being given laughing gas?" Anime!Naruto screeched back. He was on a roll now.

"And flashbacks!!! Can't forget the flashbacks!!! They were bad enough in the manga but in the anime there are twice as much! And not to mention how effed up the graphics got once we plunged into fillerdom!"

For a moment, there was no response, only looks of horror from the other butchered animes.. "You're…you're right" Anime!Faust said blankly. He looked around nervously. "If it's all the same to you, my non crippled legs and I will be getting the heck out of here"

Anime!Faust and the rest of the Shaman King crew hurried into the portal and Fruits Baskets was quick to follow.

Well, now that THAT was over, Anime!Naruto could get on with his amazingly evil plan of doom. What was it again? Crap he had forgotten. Oh well, now he could-

BOOM!!!!

"JAPANESEANIMESHIPPUDEN!UZUMAKI NARUTO!?!?!?!" Yelled a voice. It was a deep voice and had an almost German accent to it.

"YOU HAVE PROVEN THAT YOU ANIME HAS THE WORST QUALITY THAT BEATS ALL THE OTHER ANIMES!!!!!" The voice roared again and Anime!Naruto could practically feel his apartment begin to shake uncontrollably.

A flash of light, and a man appeared before him. He was extremely muscular, and wore military style pants and for some reason he carried around a huge stick with a yellow star on it.

"I am Jorgen Von Strangle! You!!! You have a worse anime then all the others!!!"

Anime!Naruto began to sweat nervously. "Well…I wouldn't go that far…Tebayo… Just…errr…ah….Datte…bayo…?"

"Nonsense!" Yelled the man and he grabbed Anime!Naruto by the arm, rolled up his right sleeve, and prodded it painfully with his star stick.

Anime!Naruto watched in horror as an odd black mark formed. It was a swirly circle like shape, which almost looked like the portal that the cancelled freaks had walked through before.

Jorgen Von Strangle dropped him and smiled triumphantly. "NOW!!! You will suffer the price of being the worst of the worst!!!!" And with that, he vanished in another flash of light.

Anime!Naruto blinked in confusion. What…the…_hell_…just happened there? He looked at his right arm and sure enough the odd swirly brand was still there.

All of a sudden, it started _moving_. Or, to be more precise, spinning. It span fast, and faster, when it span _off_ his arm, and turned into a brilliantly purple portal.

Anime!Naruto found himself being sucked into the portal. Next thing he knew, he fell in front of some odd kid with blond hair and some robot freak.

"ahh!!! Who are you?" The robot cried, obviously very freaked out.

Anime!Naruto frowned. "Anime!Naruto…where am I?"

"Full Metal Alchemist" The blonde said. "We were…just complaining about how are anime sucked an-"

"Oh HELL No!!! You wanna talk about bad anime! Try over one hundered consecutive filler episodes! Try having an episode revolving around Ino and some fat princess and some fat prince! No…Just NO!!!!!! TRY HAVING AN ARC DEVOTED TO THE CURRY OF FREAKING LIFE!!!!!" Anime!Naruto screamed insanely.

"AND WE HAVE A FILLER CHARACTER NAMED AFTER A KINGDOM HEARTS GUY!"

The blond blinked a bit. "Well…errr…our anime…changes…halfway…through…and is entirely dfferent…"

Suddenly, the Yu-Gi-Oh! Cast came in through the portal, dead set on educating the short blond on an anime that REALLY got changed from the manga. After all, the Yu-Gi-Oh! Manga had almost nothing to do with duel monsters…

Anime!Naruto sighed and sat down. He tried leaving, but for some reason the portal wouldn't work.

Finally, the two idiots from FMA were convinced that maybe their anime wasn't as bad as they had previously thought, and Naruto wasted no time jumping through the portal to go back home.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he made it back into his messy room, and immediately resolved to have some ramen when—

The brand on his arm began to spin again.

And he got sucked into another portal.

Some orange haired samurai.

"Your anime does not suck Dattebayo!" Anime!Naruto said aggravatedly. "Mine is much worse!!!"

The orange haired samurai smirked. "Oh I know that, I just wanted to hear you say it"

And back in the portal he went.

The next was a host club.

Then there was this pirate crew.

And a bunch of teenage girl scout things.

All within the time period of an hour or two.

Anime!Naruto frantically ran to the sink before it happened and tried to scrub it off, but it was no use.

His brand started spinning again.

And he found himself talking to some Harry Potter purists.

What the hell? That wasn't even a Japanese manga to begin with!!!!

Back through the portal and he raced to his oven and decided to burn the stupid brand.

But it wouldn't come off.

It never did come off.

The End


End file.
